There seems to be no limit to how far Israel can go into its gas genocide Views

We, the people of Gaza, have been threatened many times. We are threatened with the fact that we are “cleaned”, with a mass death, with “all hell collapses” on us.

The thing is, we've already gone through hell. I, like two million other Palestinians in Gaza, survived the genocidal inferior from October 7, 2023 to January 19, 2025.

To be honest, I didn't survive when I was hanging out. No, I survived by missing “F” in my life and holding on to “lie.”

The more I lied to myself, the more I maintained my fragile existence.

I still remember the first lie I told myself. It was long before the genocide.

I remember told myself after the Israeli aggression 2008-09 against Gaza that I would never again witness something like this war. It was a naive little lie. I witnessed war again in 2012 and again in 2014 and again in 2021 and again in May 2023.

On the evening of October 7, 2023, I hugged my mother when she exploded when an Israeli fighter is indiscriminately hit the whole gas.

I also chose to tell myself the truth: that this will be the last episode of our unhappy life. I felt we would die one way or another in what should follow. She felt the same; That's why she was crying.

But how can a person exist in full acceptance of an upcoming death? Human beings want to live by nature. So I started to lie again.

Shortly after, when Israel bombed the Baptist hospital on October 17, killing hundreds of people, I lied. I told myself that the world would rise for gas and the sun would not shine again on the Israeli fighter jet bombing gas again. It was a short lie. The Israeli bombing has only intensified, reaching genocidal percentages.

When Israel distracted me in December of that year, I told myself it would only be a few days and I would be back. When I returned in May 2024, I told myself that I would not be displaced again.

When I returned home after my seventh forced displacement in September 2024, Israel sharply limited the entry into the Gaza aid and told myself that the world would not allow them to starve us. But it happened. For weeks my family and I have survived bread, Zatar and a few boxes of tuna, which we had saved from our time, displaced in Al Mavasi.

But far, I told myself that it was when Phase One came into force from the cessation of fire. “That's it,” I told myself. “The military version of the genocide is over because what else Israel can do what it has no longer done?

But deep down I knew that I was lying to myself.

I knew that like so many people in Gaza, it was a matter of when and how Israel resume the genocide.

It wasn't long to get an indication that it's coming. Shortly after the start of Ramadan, Israel stopped the entry of all the help, activating another hunger. Two weeks later, instead of a summons for Suhur, we were awakened by the sound of massive bombing.

More than 400 people, including at least 100 children, were killed in a few hours.

So now the question of when he answered, but the one to how – remains. How many more children will kill Israel to realize their so -called “total” victory? How long will it take them this time to “finish the work”? How much horror and misery will we have to endure? And how will it end this time?

Although I experienced 15 months from Israel's genocidal war, I have no answer to these questions because Israel surprises me with how much evil there is in the store. I mean, is that? The last stage of the genocide? Renewing the pressure while blocking any help and cutting water and electricity? I'm afraid Israel can still go further.

The Israeli government says this circle of attacks will continue until it returns their captives. If that was the case, then what was the cessation of the fire? A vacation for the killers of all the murders?

Meanwhile, the world again issues empty condemned and does not take any action. It has failed us so many times that I have stopped counting. The shortest thing he can do is not to take our pain and misery for granted, as if we were born in it, as if we were programmed to suffer all the time.

I was raised among wars and survived at 15 months genocide, and yet I am surprised that I have not developed immunity to fear, given the large amount of pain I have experienced. I'm still afraid of what's to come.

While I am confronted with death, I want to be righteous to myself. I want to say that I deserve a much better life than the one that Israel has impressed me. I deserve a boring, unobstructed, secure life, without bombs, hunger and unimaginable loss.

I don't want to lie anymore, I want to live.

The anger expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazee's editorial position.